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i hate
copycats. i always have and always will. even if someone is not copying me and copying someone else it will irritate me. of course, mroe than one person will like the same thing as you or own the same things you do, but soemtimes you can tell its more of a coincidence. its even worse these days with stuff like myspace and facebook and flickr and blogs- people who've never met you can just copy and because they're friends dont know who you are they'll get away with it.
sigh sigh sigh.
sigh sigh sigh.
storys
okay so i started writing this in about 2006, a long long time ago, and well i have never got roudn to finishing it. maybe i will, but who knows. and yes it probably needs lots of editing etc etccc but oh welll;
Chapter 1
She was heavenly. She was everything he hadn’t dreamed off. Because she was better than that, a lot more than a one night dream that eventually fades to a distant memory.
You know when you go to parties, and there’s that one beautiful girl, who’s incredibly drunk but incredibly quiet. Everybody knows her, or has at least heard of her. Everybody talks about her, but never a bad word is said. You’ll meet her and she won’t remember you the next time, but you’ll feel bad if you take offence. She drifts around, never really meeting anyone’s gaze, a smile on her face and glitter across her cheeks. A mystery in silver.
Well, that was her.
That was how they met, at a party, naturally. It was the typical affair really; teenagers screeching around a house, tall boys drinking cheap cider and skinny girls giggling over vodka , short skirts covering patterned Topshop underwear underneath (which no doubt would later end up somewhere completely obscure), drinking mixtures of whatever was in their parents’ drinking cabinet, and whatever the oldest looking one could get their hands on in the local off license. Their pupils swelled, and filled their eyes, as their beaming mouths covered their faces, but whoever said there was anything wrong with being happy – no matter what it takes to get there?
He didn’t even know why he was there. It was a friend of a friend of a friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s best friends’ party… or something like that. He was drinking Vodka; Glens, to be precise; cheap and strong – what he usually needed to get through a night.
He’d arrived late. He had no Oyster card, so had been told to get off of four buses before the driver of the fifth believed he was thirteen years old-fool. He could hear the music from down the street when he was finally on the road. It was a gorgeous house in a fairly secluded part of Kensington, and he felt a pang of guilt when his thoughts turned to the parents, off on a cheap holiday to Barbados or something like that to try to bring back their failing sex life, whose immaculate house would be ruined, but he put it out of his mind in a moment.
All eyes were on him as soon as he and his friends walked through the door. However, this was not unsurprising. He was , after all a good looking boy. He, by the way, is Theo. He was tall, fairly well built, but still slim, and had golden brown hair, which had a large resemblance to the mane of a lions. He had eyes like emeralds, with hints of grey, and his skin was the colour of milky-coffee. If he chose too, he could have his pick of the girls, but he wasn’t like that. He worried about more than girls, and a pretty face was simply not enough to catch his eye- he knew not to judge a book by its cover, as the old cliché goes. Plus, he attracted pretty faces every day.
A girl with long brown hair, over-sized neon glasses perched sporadically upon her head, ran up to him, ‘Theo baby! Oh my god, where have you been, I have missed you so much! How come you’re here? I’m so surprised, you look fabulous!’
It took him a second to remember who she was was, but when he did a smile spread across his face, ‘Hello lovely,’ he said, and bent down to peck her on the cheek, ‘I’m not even sure why I’m here myself, but we wont tell anyone that’ he said with a quick wink. She giggled, and grabbed her friend, a clone-Sloane blonde, pretty with the amount of make up she was wearing, in a tight American apparel dress that had clearly been bought to attract attention. She batted her eyelashes up at him and smiled, ‘Hi, I’m Tash!’ She said, in what Theo guessed was supposed to be a seductive tone, but really just sounded like a drunk fifteen year old girl, who’d watched ‘The Secret Diary of a Call Girl’ one too many times. Theo shook her hand, but had already stopped paying attention to her and turned to his friends who had met him outside. They both laughed and walked into the living room, as the brown haired girl let out a scream as another myspace-face walked through the door.
The room was dark, except for one fairly large expensive-looking lamp in a small desk in the corner. There was a girl and a boy sitting on the sofa, bottles of cheap corner-shop booze in each hand, the girl had heavy black eye-liner round her face and hair dyed about 20 colours with long black extensions, and the boy had a fringe that practically ate his face and was in skinny jeans so tight I’m surprised he could breath. There was various other teenagers scattered across the room, and a tall boy in ripped drainpipes, and a baggy shirt was changing the CD’s on the large sound-system, and suddenly loud music filled up the four walls. That’s when he noticed her. She stood out like a snowflake on the brightest day. She was pale and seemed to give off a glittering glow. She has hair down to her waist, platinum blonde; she looked like a haunted Disney princess. She had pouty lips and big deer eyes that sparkled like the chandeliers that adorned the house.
She was with an incredibly pale and skinny boy, who was about as blonde as her, though perhaps a bit lighter, it was hard to tell with the light. He was holding her hand and pulling her from the corner they’d been sitting in, swigging champagne, to the center of the room. She had a silly smile across her face and her eyes were large and shiny. She and the boy started dancing slowly, he twirled around and she laughed quietly, a beautiful smile, like an angels across her face. He turned to his friend Alex,
“Who is that girl?” he said, while he opened his bottle of vodka.
“What girl?” Alex replied, Theo turned back to the room to point at her, but the mysterious angel and her equally strange friend had already disappeared.
“The blonde girl who was just in here, with that other blonde boy?”
“Oh… Sugar.’ Alex said, a slow, knowing smile spread across his face,
“Sugar? That can’t be her real name can it?’
“I don’t know, nobody does really… god, I can’t even remember where I met her ha... she’s an interesting one though’ Alex said, taking a swig from his can of Strongbow, “Why are you so interested anyway?”
“Just haven’t seen her before, that’s all.” He muttered back, and started to down the open bottle.
************************
Theo
You know I always thought she was like, special. Not just because she was beautiful, but cause you could just tell. Everything she did was like something out of a music video, which I know sounds incredibly cliché, but … I dunno, she was lovely. From the way that she’d look at me like a silly fool and then break into the most perfect smile and kiss me on the cheek, to the way that she blinked, too the way she’d stop and stare at you for about 5 seconds, long enough that you knew she was staring at something, but not sure if it was you.
Sugar. The name rolled of her tongue and into my heart.
************************
Chapter 2
It was about ten o clock when they spoke for the first time. Theo was sitting on a large oak table in the kitchen by himself, drinking some cheap liquor he’d found lying around, when she walked in. Her hair was a mess, and her arms and legs were covered in scrapes and bruises she’d clearly acquired that night. She was smiling to herself and laughing, all while looking down at the floor. He stared at her and she glanced up, her mouth open in a coy grin, ‘Oh hi.’
‘Oh hello,’ he replied, ‘my name’s L... .’
‘Theo. Yes I know, everybody talks about you. Well at least I think they do. All these really rich girls who just go blah,blah,blahhbity blah. It’s funny really, they all fancy the pants off you.’ She said, without stopping for a breath, and then giggled. Theo stopped for a minute, and then a bashful smile crawled across his face as he looked down at his feet, ‘Oh dear,’
She laughed and hopped onto the table, her skinny legs dangling over the edge.
‘Oh no don’t worry! They didn’t say anything bad. I don’t think they even know that I know, so shuuuush,’ she whispered, gesturing to his lips. A cat-like grin spread across his face, and she giggled moving her hand away.
‘What’s so funny?’ he said, still smiling.
‘Oh nothing, nothing!’ she said, looking down
‘No, tell me!’
‘Well... I don’t know if it’s all the drugs or what, but I really, really, want to kiss you.’ She said, glancing up at him. He looked down at her, and smiled. He was quite taken aback really.
‘Well?’ he replied,
‘Well what?’ she said quietly,
‘Kiss me.’ He whispered, and their lips touched.
After a while, Theo pulled away.
The hours passed. She held his strong, lion paw against her tiny kitten one, and they ran through the house. Everyone else had by now left, or crashed out in various places in the house and massive garden. At the end there was a large trampoline. She pulled him up onto it, him nearly stumbling off in his drunken stupor. They we’re both incredibly drunk.. at least he was. Or maybe that was just how she made him feel? When they were both sitting in the middle of the trampoline, he took her face in his hands.
‘God your so… nice.’ ‘ Nice am i? Well I should hope so!’ she teased,
‘Well yeah, but no, I mean more than nice…you know I noticed you as soon as I first saw you, I mean, you really, really are so…so…’
She grabbed his face and her sweet lips met his. She kissed him like any other girl had ever kissed him. He couldn’t find the right words to describe it and never would. He held her, and felt her delicate paws move underneath his shirt, slowly stroking his golden skin
************************
Sugar
I like Hampstead heath. It’s nice. Theo’s nice. The cold air’s really nice. That party was good. I wasn’t even going to go because I was going to go and see someone… well I was meant too, but then I decided I wanted to see Silver. Silver’s so pretty, he’s really nice and he had hair that’s almost Silver. That’s why I call him Silver. He’s messed up though. He’s the one who messed me up I suppose. But oh well, I love Silver. Silver loves me. That’s the way it is. But I love Theo more. I love Theo most.
Thing’s aren’t okay, but Theo doesn’t know. Theo makes things nice.
Theo’s nice. Really nice.
So, now we’re at Hampstead Heath. Other boys never took me places. Well, no, they did take me places… gigs, and parties, and clubs, boring boring boring. Silver took me special places but…I don’t want to think about it.
Hampstead heath is nice in the day. I don’t know if it’s nicer at night or in the day. Night I think. With the big stars, and the view of the city, the London eye, that gherkin thing, all the tower blocks… it’s lovely. And the bats flying over you and the cold air turning your lips blue, so that when someone kisses you, it feels all warm and tingly. I’ve been to Hampstead heath before, just for those ‘heath parties’ or whatever they call it. Their just excuses for people to get drunk and make out, and take pills which turn out to be Viagra, so that it just turns into some big orgy, for lack of a better word. But being here right now with Theo is good. He’s the kind of boy I could just kiss forever, do you know what I mean? Perfect smile, perfect face, perfect laugh, and perfect hair. Perfect. He’s perfect. He is. I swear. I promise. He is.
************************
They spent the day and most of the evening sitting and kissing on the top of Hampstead heath.
‘Do you want to go somewhere else now?’ Sugar said, as she opened her bag, and opened a small tin of Sobranie’s, and took out a light green one. She took out her lighter, and place it in between her lips. She tried to light it but it wouldn’t work ‘Here.’ Theo took out a silver lighter with a picture of the Eiffel tower on it, he flicked it open and a tall green flame came out.
‘Thankyou daaaarling, ’ she droned, intimidating perfectly all the sloanie girls they knew, ‘your such a babe.’ She said, and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and he smiled at her. It was only a week since they’d met She was dressed in a black antique fur coat, with ripped black tights. She had in long blonde extensions so her hair was down past her knees. On anyone else, they would of looked like some kind of gothic Barbie, but she looked beautiful.
It was autumn, and they were both on half-term and had so far spent the last 2 days and nights together. Theos’ parents were both traveling the world, his mother being a famous super model and his father being the photographer that had shot her too fame in her younger years. It didn’t bother Theo that much, though occasionally he would’ve liked someone to be at home, worrying about where he was or what he was doing. Theo didn’t know whether Sugar lived with her parent’s or not, but he hadn’t seen her call anyone yet, but he wasn’t going to be too nosy anyway. They’d left the party together at around 7am, just in time to see a large black car draw up to the house they had just left, and a angry looking, slightly balding man step out. Thank goodness. As they walked down the street, past rows of semi detached houses, the sun rising above the roofs, Theo picked a rose from one of the gardens and placed it in Sugars hair. It’s only been a night and so far it’d already been the perfect romance.
So anyway now, 3 days later, they were both lying in Theo’s bed. Sugar was already awake, gazing at the ceiling. A cat-like grin was across her face, as she stood up, pulling on one of Theo’s Ralph Lauren polo shirts. She gazed in the mirror, and ruffled her hair. she grabbed her bag and started ruffling though it for some lipstick, when she felt a pair of hands around her waist.
“Hello babe” she said quietly, as he kissed her neck.
“I’m just going to have a shower, I’ll be back in a minute.” He murmured in her ear. “Okay.” She replied, and he walked towards the door.
He returned ten minutes later, to see a smudgy lipstick scrawl on his mirror, “See you babe” was all that it said.
Theo did not leave his house that day. He ruined his arms with scissors and old shaving blades. He cut his hair. He tore clothes. Theo, a pin-up teenage heartthrob, full of self-composure or so thought, had been broken.
He went to sleep. He woke up the next day, washed himself, got money out of the bank, went too brick lane, got some new clothes, got his hair cut, and never thought of her again. The girl who had taken and torn apart his heart like it was nothing, would not be remembered, he would wipe her out with whatever it took. That was it, the tale of Sugar and Theo, a short but tragic story. Over. Forever.
Chapter 2
It was around six months on. Theo was leaning on a barrier opposite the bridge from Battersea Power Station, waiting for a friend, who was late as usual. He was smoking a cigarette, when a skinny girl with long light brown hair came up to him.
“Excuse me, do you have a lighter or something?”
“Um fuck, no, I have matches?”
“Oh yeah that’s fine thanks” she replied, not really concentrating, her eyes darting about. She took the book of matches, and, lighting 3 at a time, lit her cigarette. She passed him the book back and his eyes met hers for a second. Then it all came back to him, the smell of the night, the taste of vodka and lip gloss, everything. “Sugar?”
“What? No…that’s not me, I’m not Sugar anymore , nonono.” She said, her bambi eyes gazing up at him. She looked like she was about to cry. He put his hand on her chin, and a silent tear ran onto his fingers as she gazed at him, through those glass eyes. It was like getting lost in wonderland.
“You changed your hair.”
“Um yeah..i didn’t like it, well I did but um..fuck…”
“What...happened?”
“Nothing happened, I just had to go didn’t I, and um I guess I forgot my phone number, and yeah it was just another byebyebye again.”
“Don’t lie.”
And then he tasted it all again, the vodka, the lipgloss, the bubblegum, the vanilla cigarettes, the smell of ocean shampoo, the Disney perfume, her, Sugar. Sugar sugar sugar sugar. And then it was over, and she grabbed his hand, pushing something into it, and ran off down the street, clicking in her stupidly high heels. He opened his hand. It was her own box of matches, and inside was her number and a name, a name, but it wasn’t Sugar. She must of known it was him all along.
Theo
It was strange. It was something I’d kind of dreamed off but you know, I didn’t actually want it to happen now that I’m thinking about it. Things had gotten simple again back then, same old story you know. School till Friday, Friday night, corner shop, London underground, the boys, girls, too much drink and then passing out at someone’s house. It wasn’t a great life but it was fun and it was simple. But now my heads like roooooar, and my hearts like bangbangbang and my hands just shake all the time. I shouldn’t of called that number to be honest, but if you had a chance to see those eyes again, let me tell you, you’d pay billions.
************************
It took Theo a week to call her.
“Hello?” a quiet, slightly nervous voice answered,
“Sugar?”
“I’m not Sugar anymore…you know that.”
“Uh yeah alright…what’s happening anyway?”
“Oh nothing really just you know…meet me somewhere?”
“Okay, where?”
“you know Kite Hill, on Hampstead heath?”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah there, in um a hour, at like 1, okay, don’t be late okay? Okay bye.”
She hung up before he even had a chance to ask her where exactly on the hill.
Theo walked up the hill slowly, his mind were elsewhere really, obviously seeing her again was at the back of his mind, but he was trying to take his mind off her. His phone beeped, it was a text from Alex;
‘Alright mate, still meeting at 6 at waterloo yeah? Jam with the boys and pick up some gash yeah ;) ’
Theo replied quickly,
‘Yeah cool, see you then’
He glanced up and saw her, she was picking a flower and it seemed that she was doing that old ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ game girls at Theo’s primary school used to do. He rubbed his nose, and walked over.
‘Hey’ he said, feeling a lot shyer than he usually did. Hm, maybe shy wasn’t the word, perhaps insecure? When she heard his voice, she quickly dropped the flower, and wrapped her arms around him. And there it was again; the familiar smell of coconut shampoo, mixed with cheap Disney Princess perfume. He moved his hand down to her waist, and she buried her face and long blonde hair, with shimmering pastel coloured streaks, , into his chest.
‘Let’s go sit somewhere?’ Theo suggested, taking her delicate hand in his.
She looked so surreally beautiful , like she was about to break, but also like she was floating. Her eyes were sparkling but blank, empty… Her eyes weren’t the same as before.
They walked down through a small gate, into a beautiful garden.
Chapter 1
She was heavenly. She was everything he hadn’t dreamed off. Because she was better than that, a lot more than a one night dream that eventually fades to a distant memory.
You know when you go to parties, and there’s that one beautiful girl, who’s incredibly drunk but incredibly quiet. Everybody knows her, or has at least heard of her. Everybody talks about her, but never a bad word is said. You’ll meet her and she won’t remember you the next time, but you’ll feel bad if you take offence. She drifts around, never really meeting anyone’s gaze, a smile on her face and glitter across her cheeks. A mystery in silver.
Well, that was her.
That was how they met, at a party, naturally. It was the typical affair really; teenagers screeching around a house, tall boys drinking cheap cider and skinny girls giggling over vodka , short skirts covering patterned Topshop underwear underneath (which no doubt would later end up somewhere completely obscure), drinking mixtures of whatever was in their parents’ drinking cabinet, and whatever the oldest looking one could get their hands on in the local off license. Their pupils swelled, and filled their eyes, as their beaming mouths covered their faces, but whoever said there was anything wrong with being happy – no matter what it takes to get there?
He didn’t even know why he was there. It was a friend of a friend of a friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s best friends’ party… or something like that. He was drinking Vodka; Glens, to be precise; cheap and strong – what he usually needed to get through a night.
He’d arrived late. He had no Oyster card, so had been told to get off of four buses before the driver of the fifth believed he was thirteen years old-fool. He could hear the music from down the street when he was finally on the road. It was a gorgeous house in a fairly secluded part of Kensington, and he felt a pang of guilt when his thoughts turned to the parents, off on a cheap holiday to Barbados or something like that to try to bring back their failing sex life, whose immaculate house would be ruined, but he put it out of his mind in a moment.
All eyes were on him as soon as he and his friends walked through the door. However, this was not unsurprising. He was , after all a good looking boy. He, by the way, is Theo. He was tall, fairly well built, but still slim, and had golden brown hair, which had a large resemblance to the mane of a lions. He had eyes like emeralds, with hints of grey, and his skin was the colour of milky-coffee. If he chose too, he could have his pick of the girls, but he wasn’t like that. He worried about more than girls, and a pretty face was simply not enough to catch his eye- he knew not to judge a book by its cover, as the old cliché goes. Plus, he attracted pretty faces every day.
A girl with long brown hair, over-sized neon glasses perched sporadically upon her head, ran up to him, ‘Theo baby! Oh my god, where have you been, I have missed you so much! How come you’re here? I’m so surprised, you look fabulous!’
It took him a second to remember who she was was, but when he did a smile spread across his face, ‘Hello lovely,’ he said, and bent down to peck her on the cheek, ‘I’m not even sure why I’m here myself, but we wont tell anyone that’ he said with a quick wink. She giggled, and grabbed her friend, a clone-Sloane blonde, pretty with the amount of make up she was wearing, in a tight American apparel dress that had clearly been bought to attract attention. She batted her eyelashes up at him and smiled, ‘Hi, I’m Tash!’ She said, in what Theo guessed was supposed to be a seductive tone, but really just sounded like a drunk fifteen year old girl, who’d watched ‘The Secret Diary of a Call Girl’ one too many times. Theo shook her hand, but had already stopped paying attention to her and turned to his friends who had met him outside. They both laughed and walked into the living room, as the brown haired girl let out a scream as another myspace-face walked through the door.
The room was dark, except for one fairly large expensive-looking lamp in a small desk in the corner. There was a girl and a boy sitting on the sofa, bottles of cheap corner-shop booze in each hand, the girl had heavy black eye-liner round her face and hair dyed about 20 colours with long black extensions, and the boy had a fringe that practically ate his face and was in skinny jeans so tight I’m surprised he could breath. There was various other teenagers scattered across the room, and a tall boy in ripped drainpipes, and a baggy shirt was changing the CD’s on the large sound-system, and suddenly loud music filled up the four walls. That’s when he noticed her. She stood out like a snowflake on the brightest day. She was pale and seemed to give off a glittering glow. She has hair down to her waist, platinum blonde; she looked like a haunted Disney princess. She had pouty lips and big deer eyes that sparkled like the chandeliers that adorned the house.
She was with an incredibly pale and skinny boy, who was about as blonde as her, though perhaps a bit lighter, it was hard to tell with the light. He was holding her hand and pulling her from the corner they’d been sitting in, swigging champagne, to the center of the room. She had a silly smile across her face and her eyes were large and shiny. She and the boy started dancing slowly, he twirled around and she laughed quietly, a beautiful smile, like an angels across her face. He turned to his friend Alex,
“Who is that girl?” he said, while he opened his bottle of vodka.
“What girl?” Alex replied, Theo turned back to the room to point at her, but the mysterious angel and her equally strange friend had already disappeared.
“The blonde girl who was just in here, with that other blonde boy?”
“Oh… Sugar.’ Alex said, a slow, knowing smile spread across his face,
“Sugar? That can’t be her real name can it?’
“I don’t know, nobody does really… god, I can’t even remember where I met her ha... she’s an interesting one though’ Alex said, taking a swig from his can of Strongbow, “Why are you so interested anyway?”
“Just haven’t seen her before, that’s all.” He muttered back, and started to down the open bottle.
************************
Theo
You know I always thought she was like, special. Not just because she was beautiful, but cause you could just tell. Everything she did was like something out of a music video, which I know sounds incredibly cliché, but … I dunno, she was lovely. From the way that she’d look at me like a silly fool and then break into the most perfect smile and kiss me on the cheek, to the way that she blinked, too the way she’d stop and stare at you for about 5 seconds, long enough that you knew she was staring at something, but not sure if it was you.
Sugar. The name rolled of her tongue and into my heart.
************************
Chapter 2
It was about ten o clock when they spoke for the first time. Theo was sitting on a large oak table in the kitchen by himself, drinking some cheap liquor he’d found lying around, when she walked in. Her hair was a mess, and her arms and legs were covered in scrapes and bruises she’d clearly acquired that night. She was smiling to herself and laughing, all while looking down at the floor. He stared at her and she glanced up, her mouth open in a coy grin, ‘Oh hi.’
‘Oh hello,’ he replied, ‘my name’s L... .’
‘Theo. Yes I know, everybody talks about you. Well at least I think they do. All these really rich girls who just go blah,blah,blahhbity blah. It’s funny really, they all fancy the pants off you.’ She said, without stopping for a breath, and then giggled. Theo stopped for a minute, and then a bashful smile crawled across his face as he looked down at his feet, ‘Oh dear,’
She laughed and hopped onto the table, her skinny legs dangling over the edge.
‘Oh no don’t worry! They didn’t say anything bad. I don’t think they even know that I know, so shuuuush,’ she whispered, gesturing to his lips. A cat-like grin spread across his face, and she giggled moving her hand away.
‘What’s so funny?’ he said, still smiling.
‘Oh nothing, nothing!’ she said, looking down
‘No, tell me!’
‘Well... I don’t know if it’s all the drugs or what, but I really, really, want to kiss you.’ She said, glancing up at him. He looked down at her, and smiled. He was quite taken aback really.
‘Well?’ he replied,
‘Well what?’ she said quietly,
‘Kiss me.’ He whispered, and their lips touched.
After a while, Theo pulled away.
The hours passed. She held his strong, lion paw against her tiny kitten one, and they ran through the house. Everyone else had by now left, or crashed out in various places in the house and massive garden. At the end there was a large trampoline. She pulled him up onto it, him nearly stumbling off in his drunken stupor. They we’re both incredibly drunk.. at least he was. Or maybe that was just how she made him feel? When they were both sitting in the middle of the trampoline, he took her face in his hands.
‘God your so… nice.’ ‘ Nice am i? Well I should hope so!’ she teased,
‘Well yeah, but no, I mean more than nice…you know I noticed you as soon as I first saw you, I mean, you really, really are so…so…’
She grabbed his face and her sweet lips met his. She kissed him like any other girl had ever kissed him. He couldn’t find the right words to describe it and never would. He held her, and felt her delicate paws move underneath his shirt, slowly stroking his golden skin
************************
Sugar
I like Hampstead heath. It’s nice. Theo’s nice. The cold air’s really nice. That party was good. I wasn’t even going to go because I was going to go and see someone… well I was meant too, but then I decided I wanted to see Silver. Silver’s so pretty, he’s really nice and he had hair that’s almost Silver. That’s why I call him Silver. He’s messed up though. He’s the one who messed me up I suppose. But oh well, I love Silver. Silver loves me. That’s the way it is. But I love Theo more. I love Theo most.
Thing’s aren’t okay, but Theo doesn’t know. Theo makes things nice.
Theo’s nice. Really nice.
So, now we’re at Hampstead Heath. Other boys never took me places. Well, no, they did take me places… gigs, and parties, and clubs, boring boring boring. Silver took me special places but…I don’t want to think about it.
Hampstead heath is nice in the day. I don’t know if it’s nicer at night or in the day. Night I think. With the big stars, and the view of the city, the London eye, that gherkin thing, all the tower blocks… it’s lovely. And the bats flying over you and the cold air turning your lips blue, so that when someone kisses you, it feels all warm and tingly. I’ve been to Hampstead heath before, just for those ‘heath parties’ or whatever they call it. Their just excuses for people to get drunk and make out, and take pills which turn out to be Viagra, so that it just turns into some big orgy, for lack of a better word. But being here right now with Theo is good. He’s the kind of boy I could just kiss forever, do you know what I mean? Perfect smile, perfect face, perfect laugh, and perfect hair. Perfect. He’s perfect. He is. I swear. I promise. He is.
************************
They spent the day and most of the evening sitting and kissing on the top of Hampstead heath.
‘Do you want to go somewhere else now?’ Sugar said, as she opened her bag, and opened a small tin of Sobranie’s, and took out a light green one. She took out her lighter, and place it in between her lips. She tried to light it but it wouldn’t work ‘Here.’ Theo took out a silver lighter with a picture of the Eiffel tower on it, he flicked it open and a tall green flame came out.
‘Thankyou daaaarling, ’ she droned, intimidating perfectly all the sloanie girls they knew, ‘your such a babe.’ She said, and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and he smiled at her. It was only a week since they’d met She was dressed in a black antique fur coat, with ripped black tights. She had in long blonde extensions so her hair was down past her knees. On anyone else, they would of looked like some kind of gothic Barbie, but she looked beautiful.
It was autumn, and they were both on half-term and had so far spent the last 2 days and nights together. Theos’ parents were both traveling the world, his mother being a famous super model and his father being the photographer that had shot her too fame in her younger years. It didn’t bother Theo that much, though occasionally he would’ve liked someone to be at home, worrying about where he was or what he was doing. Theo didn’t know whether Sugar lived with her parent’s or not, but he hadn’t seen her call anyone yet, but he wasn’t going to be too nosy anyway. They’d left the party together at around 7am, just in time to see a large black car draw up to the house they had just left, and a angry looking, slightly balding man step out. Thank goodness. As they walked down the street, past rows of semi detached houses, the sun rising above the roofs, Theo picked a rose from one of the gardens and placed it in Sugars hair. It’s only been a night and so far it’d already been the perfect romance.
So anyway now, 3 days later, they were both lying in Theo’s bed. Sugar was already awake, gazing at the ceiling. A cat-like grin was across her face, as she stood up, pulling on one of Theo’s Ralph Lauren polo shirts. She gazed in the mirror, and ruffled her hair. she grabbed her bag and started ruffling though it for some lipstick, when she felt a pair of hands around her waist.
“Hello babe” she said quietly, as he kissed her neck.
“I’m just going to have a shower, I’ll be back in a minute.” He murmured in her ear. “Okay.” She replied, and he walked towards the door.
He returned ten minutes later, to see a smudgy lipstick scrawl on his mirror, “See you babe” was all that it said.
Theo did not leave his house that day. He ruined his arms with scissors and old shaving blades. He cut his hair. He tore clothes. Theo, a pin-up teenage heartthrob, full of self-composure or so thought, had been broken.
He went to sleep. He woke up the next day, washed himself, got money out of the bank, went too brick lane, got some new clothes, got his hair cut, and never thought of her again. The girl who had taken and torn apart his heart like it was nothing, would not be remembered, he would wipe her out with whatever it took. That was it, the tale of Sugar and Theo, a short but tragic story. Over. Forever.
Chapter 2
It was around six months on. Theo was leaning on a barrier opposite the bridge from Battersea Power Station, waiting for a friend, who was late as usual. He was smoking a cigarette, when a skinny girl with long light brown hair came up to him.
“Excuse me, do you have a lighter or something?”
“Um fuck, no, I have matches?”
“Oh yeah that’s fine thanks” she replied, not really concentrating, her eyes darting about. She took the book of matches, and, lighting 3 at a time, lit her cigarette. She passed him the book back and his eyes met hers for a second. Then it all came back to him, the smell of the night, the taste of vodka and lip gloss, everything. “Sugar?”
“What? No…that’s not me, I’m not Sugar anymore , nonono.” She said, her bambi eyes gazing up at him. She looked like she was about to cry. He put his hand on her chin, and a silent tear ran onto his fingers as she gazed at him, through those glass eyes. It was like getting lost in wonderland.
“You changed your hair.”
“Um yeah..i didn’t like it, well I did but um..fuck…”
“What...happened?”
“Nothing happened, I just had to go didn’t I, and um I guess I forgot my phone number, and yeah it was just another byebyebye again.”
“Don’t lie.”
And then he tasted it all again, the vodka, the lipgloss, the bubblegum, the vanilla cigarettes, the smell of ocean shampoo, the Disney perfume, her, Sugar. Sugar sugar sugar sugar. And then it was over, and she grabbed his hand, pushing something into it, and ran off down the street, clicking in her stupidly high heels. He opened his hand. It was her own box of matches, and inside was her number and a name, a name, but it wasn’t Sugar. She must of known it was him all along.
Theo
It was strange. It was something I’d kind of dreamed off but you know, I didn’t actually want it to happen now that I’m thinking about it. Things had gotten simple again back then, same old story you know. School till Friday, Friday night, corner shop, London underground, the boys, girls, too much drink and then passing out at someone’s house. It wasn’t a great life but it was fun and it was simple. But now my heads like roooooar, and my hearts like bangbangbang and my hands just shake all the time. I shouldn’t of called that number to be honest, but if you had a chance to see those eyes again, let me tell you, you’d pay billions.
************************
It took Theo a week to call her.
“Hello?” a quiet, slightly nervous voice answered,
“Sugar?”
“I’m not Sugar anymore…you know that.”
“Uh yeah alright…what’s happening anyway?”
“Oh nothing really just you know…meet me somewhere?”
“Okay, where?”
“you know Kite Hill, on Hampstead heath?”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah there, in um a hour, at like 1, okay, don’t be late okay? Okay bye.”
She hung up before he even had a chance to ask her where exactly on the hill.
Theo walked up the hill slowly, his mind were elsewhere really, obviously seeing her again was at the back of his mind, but he was trying to take his mind off her. His phone beeped, it was a text from Alex;
‘Alright mate, still meeting at 6 at waterloo yeah? Jam with the boys and pick up some gash yeah ;) ’
Theo replied quickly,
‘Yeah cool, see you then’
He glanced up and saw her, she was picking a flower and it seemed that she was doing that old ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ game girls at Theo’s primary school used to do. He rubbed his nose, and walked over.
‘Hey’ he said, feeling a lot shyer than he usually did. Hm, maybe shy wasn’t the word, perhaps insecure? When she heard his voice, she quickly dropped the flower, and wrapped her arms around him. And there it was again; the familiar smell of coconut shampoo, mixed with cheap Disney Princess perfume. He moved his hand down to her waist, and she buried her face and long blonde hair, with shimmering pastel coloured streaks, , into his chest.
‘Let’s go sit somewhere?’ Theo suggested, taking her delicate hand in his.
She looked so surreally beautiful , like she was about to break, but also like she was floating. Her eyes were sparkling but blank, empty… Her eyes weren’t the same as before.
They walked down through a small gate, into a beautiful garden.
Monday, 4 May 2009
I <3 ap
the last one is my favourite.
i need money to indulge my lingerie and clothing habit.
bring agent provocateur, chanel, and champagne.
oh and a palace and a white horse.
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